Say what? The things people say to pregnant women . . .
Posted on September 20 2012
I'm now almost 4 months pregnant. It's hard to believe how quickly it's all happening. The last time I was pregnant was 4 years ago, so I've surprisingly forgotten a lot. I forgot how paralyzed I was with exhaustion during the first trimester. I forgot how difficult it was to find something appetizing to eat. I forgot how quickly I outgrow my regular clothes, and I forgot how disrespectful people can be, particularly, family members. I've learned not to take these unsolicited comments personally, but they always make me pause.
Mark and I have decided not to find out the gender of the baby until he/she is born. The other day my dear mother-in-law said, "Bring me your next ultrasound photo. I can take a look and tell." First, unless you're an ultrasound technician or a doctor, it's quite difficult to look at a print-out of an ultrasound and determine the gender of the baby. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the baby have to be in the right position at the right time to actually see the "goods"? Second, both my husband and I have clearly stated that our wish is to keep the gender a surprise. Why would one go out of one's way to ruin that surprise for us?
The other alarming comment I got was from my aunt. I was at my cousin's bridal shower on Saturday evening, and my dear aunt says, "You must be having a boy. You look so unattractive. Your face just looks awful." I just had to grin and bear it, so as not to cause a scene, but WOW. Old wives tale or not, I'm pretty certain that the gender of the baby in one's womb has no bearing on how one's face looks. Also, even if you truly believe this, have you no filter? How about giving a pregnant lady a break?
I realize that this blog post has become a mini-vent session, but I just had to write these things down. Have any other mothers or pregnant women out there experienced jaw-dropping comments like these or are my family members just outright rude?
42 comments
Izzy, thanks for sharing. I cannot believe the gall of some people. I’ve been feeling pretty crappy these days too, but thankfully, I haven’t encountered the kind of people you’re running into on the street. Hang in there mama!
No, it is not JUST a cultural thing. I know I am late to the party here, but I wanted to add my two cents. For what it’s worth, I am an American/Italian/Lebanese. I am married, 30 yrs old with a 9 month old son. I can not tell you how many RUDE comments I heard from family members while pregnant. My 2 grandmothers and occasionally my sister. The filter was certainly tossed aside and it became a free for all. My husband encouraged me to respond, but I believe it would have provoked more attitude, so I took it all with a smile. Sometimes giving myself permission to just walk away. What helps is knowing I don’t go home to them and I preserved relationships, showed dignity and loads of self control. My husband has oodles of respect for me in regard to how I handled those situations. Life isn’t perfect all the time, but our little family is happy. I absolutely love your story and family, best of luck with your wonderful business. I placed my order today, I’m excited to receive our first Lollacup soon. :)