Kill Your Darlings

Chad Riddersen

Posted on September 20 2013

I have a friend who is a talented writer, and every time I talk to her, I learn something new. The other day, we were talking and she asked me if I'd ever heard the phrase, "kill your darlings." Apparently, it's a phrase used by journalists, who often have a great idea for a piece or a fabulous opening that may turn out to be tangential or simply not a good fit. Instead of being married to said idea or concept, journalists are taught to "kill their darlings" - don’t use it, and get over it.

I began to think that I, as a parent, sometimes need to "kill my darlings." Don't get me wrong, I know my children can drive me crazy at times, but that's not what I mean. I know I'm not alone when I say that I do my best to be the perfect mother and my husband, the ultimate father. To that end, we tend to hold onto these notions of what ideal parenting looks like. We get distraught over missed naps, feel guilty about unhealthy meals, struggle to maintain discipline, etc. We get so much advice, read so many parenting tips, and witness other seemingly perfect children and do everything in our power to parent that way. BUT sometimes what's right for one family or what we hope to do and achieve as parents is simply not a good fit. Moving forward, I have vowed to "kill my darlings" and get over it. I hope you will consider the same. I'm thinking [and hoping] that it is going to make parenting a LOT less stressful.

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  • Breanna Sanchez: July 02, 2015

    Hahaha this is soooo true! Even my reasons for LOVING the Lolla Cup are centered around me wanting the best for my kids and the peace of mind knowing this is a safe product.

  • Tammy Park: July 02, 2015

    So funny you posted this because I was just telling Paul yesterday that I so admire the way you and Mark are with your girls and how I hope that one day soon, Taylor and Jamie will be as close as Story and Sofia are!

  • liz smith: July 02, 2015

    every time my kids do something bad in front of my husband he asks me if we are doing something wrong, in all seriousness. i just have to laugh. i have no idea but i think we are doing our best!

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